THE BACHELOR
Here’s a happy little story: Since breaking up with Idol, i’ve been hungry for a new x-tra lowbrow TV delicacy and so the other day I said to self “I should try The Bachelor” because surprisingly I’ve never watched it but it’s clearly SO off the charts nutpants and so maybe, just maybe, it will be just right and exactly what I need at this juncture in my life. So I sit down to watch the first episode and lo and behold who is one of the contestants but this sweet woman Courtney I shot a commercial with last year! This Courtney is a model — in the legit, very working, fancy Ford-repped sense of the word — and my impression of her during the couple days we spent together was that she was super sweet and rather demure actually and a real wholesome, outdoorsy Santa Monica-dwelling/run-on-the-beach-with-her-dog-every-morning kind of person, and we had fun and I particularly adored her the day she gave me all these modely secrets re: face lotions and antioxidant serums and great conditioning masks for your hair, which is exactly the kind of thing I eat up. But, Reader, does Courtney’s sweet personality come through on The Bachelor? No it does not. NO, IT REALLY REALLY DOES NOT. And I’m not hinting here at some unfair editing jiu-jitsu, like people are always complaining about on reality shows. In Courtney’s case, she clearly made the conscious decision to act like a crazy, unstable, piranha mega-bitch. To make more of a splash, I presume. And it’s working. She’s a front runner already and people are abuzz about her because guileless Ben the bachelor is smitten, yet all the other girls deeply hate her guts and she hates them back and as you watch each episode you think this Courtney character is going to poison all the other girls’ merlot and then devour Ben whole. And all this is all to say: I simply cannot believe my luck. That I’ve stumbled upon this is such fortunate, delicious insanity. Bachelor watchers, let’s please discuss. And go, go, go Courtney! So, so hoping that all the roses and bended knees Ben F has to offer will be yours.
Ben chose her for a solo date which is a Big Deal. He was kind of testing her: could the glam Big City model hang in the wild outdoors of Sonoma? Yes, turns out she can. She dressed in an outdoors-loving outfit and gushed over his dog which proved it to him.
Thought bubble is all "Maybe I can stab Kacie B in her sleep."
I can't remember what she is saying here but a fair guess is it's something about how all the other girls may as well just go home. also this is the cutest sweatshirt.
